Setting the Table:
Everything in it's place
Every Thursday, I’m setting the table for your weekend…a collection of reads, recipes, tools, and whatever else caught my attention this week. It’s the moment before the chaos when you get to decide what kind of experience you want to create…Not a to-do list (bc we aren’t doing those anymore, right?!). Just possibilities, just good…fun…thoughtful, possibilities.
February it already hitting differently this year. We’re in the dead of winter, but the light is shifting…I can already see the earlier sunrises, later sunsets, and those first hints that we’re moving toward something new. Historically, February was the Roman month of purification (Februa), the time to cleanse before spring planting. Astrologically, we’re in Aquarius season…revolutionary energy, breaking patterns, doing things differently.
Which feels about right for where I am (and maybe you, too?). I was diagnosed with ADHD last fall, and I’ve spent the past few months trying to figure out how to finally take charge of my executive functioning issues after 42 years of apparently doing things the hard way. Turns out, becoming a chef actually helped me navigate those issues in ways I didn’t realize in real time.
Mise en place…everything in its place…isn’t just a cooking technique, I’ve realized. It was an external system that held my ADHD brain when my internal systems failed – prepping, organizing, creating structure before the chaos of service. It saved me in the kitchen. These days, I’m trying to figure out how to apply it to all the other areas of my life.
So here’s what I’m setting out this week.
THE GRAZING PLATE
(quick bites, short reads, things to nibble on)
ADDitude Magazine - Menopause & ADHD Survey
83% of women experienced ADHD symptoms for the first time in their 40s & 50s. Average age of diagnosis: 43. Half called menopause the period when “ADHD had the greatest overall impact on their lives.” If you’re in your 40s, wondering why everything suddenly feels harder…this might be why.
Women and AI: I have a theory…women’s slower adoption of AI isn’t a bug, it’s a feature. Research shows men use AI tools 25% more than women. But what if women are being more strategic about when AI supports our work versus when it does the work for us? Men are moving fast. Women are moving thoughtfully. And I’d bet on thoughtful over fast any day. We might take longer to adopt it, but once we do, we will surely outperform…right, ladies?!
Stanford Social Innovation Review - The AI Gender Gap Paradox
On holding “fierce ambivalence”...using AI to empower yourself while demanding better standards. The concept of passionately holding two contradictory truths at once feels very February, very Aquarius, very right now.
THE UTENSILS
(tools, recipes, the things that help you do the work)
Subscriber Exclusive: Southern Citrus Pickled Shrimp Recipe
Cold-weather citrus meets Southern hospitality. Bright, punchy, and somehow tastes like the sun found you in February. Serve it on plantain chips and pretend you’re hosting, even if it’s just you.
Microplane Zester
I use this thing every day. For real, every day. Fresh Parmesan that actually melts, lemon zest that doesn’t taste like pith, garlic that disappears into a sauce instead of sitting there in sad little chunks. It’s $15. Get the sharp one, not the cheap knockoff that’ll shred your knuckles instead of the cheese. Replace it when it gets dull.
THE VESSELS
(what holds us, what gives our chaos shape and space)
Medium - “The Quiet Rage” by Amani Green
“My hands clenched around my coffee mug, my teeth pressed tight...I realized then that this quiet rage I had carried for decades—shaped by every subtle dismissal, every ‘don’t be so sensitive,’ every expectation that a woman must be agreeable—was no longer willing to be silent.” For anyone who’s ever been told to smile more, be nicer, calm down.
The Midst - “People pleasing is blocking who you really are”
“In midlife, many women start to feel the toll of people-pleasing. You’ve spent years saying yes at work, smoothing things over in relationships. Somewhere along the way, your boundaries got fuzzy. Your needs got quieter.” On recovering from Good Girl Syndrome. Raises hand
THE GLASSWARE
(the bubbles, the refreshment, what quenches)
City of Girls by Elizabeth Gilbert
The Sunshinery is hosting a book talk on this one in February, and it’s the perfect midlife antidote. 1940s NYC theater world, a woman looking back on her youth with “pleasure and regret (but mostly pleasure).” About discovering you don’t have to be a good girl to be a good person. Goes down like champagne…Gilbert’s own words.
Lunar New Year Sound Ritual at Sage + Sound
Later this Month: Tuesday, February 17th, 7:30-9pm. Set intentions during the New Moon with journaling, guided breathwork, and a 90-minute sound journey (gongs, singing bowls, chimes). Maybe we need a guide to show us how to turn inward before we can move forward. $75.
THE NAPKIN
(for wiping away the week’s mess, the reset)
“Work Clean” by Dan Charnas
How mise en place translates outside the kitchen. The best chefs spend more time preparing than cooking…I learned this early on. Ten minutes of thoughtful, clean prep can save hours of chaos. And outside of the kitchen, this can be applied as well…your desk is your station, your tasks are ingredients, your workflow is the line.
Monthly Micro-Resets
February’s a weird month…short, dark, caught between winter and spring. Instead of massive overhauls, I’m trying weekly 20-minute check-ins: What worked this week? What didn’t? I refer to my brain dump list I started last week…and re-evaluate. Small wins build momentum…I think.
THE DESSERT PLATE
(the sweet stuff, pure joy, no justification needed)
First Saturdays at Brooklyn Museum (Feb 7)
Free…Music…DJs…Performances…This is art that makes you feel something. It’s the kind of event where you remember why you live in New York in the first place.
Soft Launch into Chaos - Spotify
I put together this soundtrack this week to help me get my shit together while also simultaneously falling apart. Give it a listen when you need a guide for the chaos of the day, maybe it’ll even help you enjoy it a little.
What are you setting out for your weekend?
Hit reply…I read every single one.